Everyone I would like you to give a warm welcome to Detective Walrus Blog <3
http://detectivewalrus.blogspot.com/

Today I was so happy to walk into a building with AC that I could of dressed up as a girl and jump rope. 

And then a  Hipster appear ...

He started to ask me question about things on my desk top.  I gave him the serious face.

 ......Then I told him the following :

Dear Detective Walrus, today I read the warning sign for your kind.

But it seems karma has a bone to pick with me, it is so hot outside today even the news agree's with me.

I melted today.

Will some one please find me some where between the music school and the Library. 

Please bring the following :

Some times even Detectives get sad: 

When creepy people's attempt to figure out my name, shoe size and telephone number.

Thankfully Detective Walrus can handle the situation. 

YEAH!

 What have I been doing all summer ? 

And,..........................................

ROLLING AROUND LIKE A BOSS .

.

Some times when I get bored I lick people to make them shut up .

Yesterday I went to Dave & Buster to win a stuffed.

Then I had to pee.. so I went to the restroom.

I walked into a conversation about vaginal wipes.

Then vaginal wipes were pass around to" keep the body fresh."

.........

Today Detective Walrus  gave me a tasty plain pop tart. It was fucking delicious. 

Recap of Panda Letter :     Walrus! Help me? I umm WANT to be like you. How do you get a master like DP? Are you two like master and slave. Did you two meet at like a website?.......do you dress up as animals? _curious boy toy on"

Detective Walrus Says :    DP is not my master, but I am the sidekick in a mystery solving adventure system.  I woke up from a nap once day and saw a Panda and was told I was now the sidekick.  I just wanted food, so I agreed.  We quickly went to solve our first mystery together... LUNCH!  I do not dress up like an animal because I am a Walrus.  I actually a Walrus that dresses like a human being.  I am glad you want to be like me, I am fat and lazy and cozy, and am always looking for a good meal.

HOW CUTE! (^_^)

My answer to you is the following :

 Today my friend ask me if I was enjoying my vacation .

 If only he  knew the hard life I have.

Things to do before school starts :

Pretend I am a sponge with bolas and  a man rod
 on my face . 

Learn to make this face in order to distract people from noticing that I am completely naked while eating at Luby's.

Finally ... Rule the world.

All Panda's Beach! Vacation Fun Day.

Dear average people living their average life,
I am pale and need to tan. Lets pray together in hopes that the sun cancerous ray engulf's me producing a golden tan. Amen.

Panda Mail Day!

Got questions? I have answers! Comment below with your questions and DW and I will provide solutions. 

Dear Detective Walrus : Please learn the following 

Recap of letter number 2 : "hey soo I like this girl how do i tell her i like her with out her finding me creepy? "David f.

~ FIVE STEPS TO MAKE A GIRL LOVE YOU ~

First step : Send her a sexual card with hearts on it.

Second step : Locate the girl which you like.

Third step : Send her a message on Facebook .

Fourth step : Tattoo her name at lest 100 times on your body.

Final Step : Send her your phone number, address, steps 1-4, and a picture of your face. . She will surely come running to your door in 30 minutes .

<3 <3

.

Recap of Anonymous mail : " Dear DP and DW ! ,Help! I am kinda fat and my fat hangs over my pants. Do you think some one would find me sexy?...:( I dont like my fat."
-anonymous fat person

 

If you have a muffin top my friend like so :  I have  the answer!

.

.........................................................

Paint a Panda on it ! SUPER SEXY 

SO this happen today :

This is how I felt after Detective Walrus and I had three bowls of tasty cheese.